Chulalongkorn

Right Side of Me

Spiderwebs

Posted by chulalongkorn on September 29, 2013

Like a spider caught in it’s own web. You watch the insects fly in. Cringing at every wrong step they take, you give up and let them in on your secret on how to escape this trap.
So on they fly and soar to great heights, while you remain stuck in your own trap. One you made on your own, all the rules, all the exits,..
You know all there is to know, but lay there as if you are the helpless fly.
Look inside yourself, there is more than you see..look inside yourself, there is a strength you do not see.

Don’t be ashamed to let me in since i am already in this with you. I want to be the one to help you, walk with you through the dark and out to the light.
Through this journey, there will be tough times to come. Times you must look back in order to move on. Times you will discover are harder than you expected. I want to walk with you through the hard times and advise you along the way. You might need support from me to keep you going. I will be there for you.
You will come to many crossroads at which you will want to turn around, start over cause you can’t allow yourself to do such that move you might regret. You live with so much of it now, why would you want to live with more?
This is your chance, go with it. Take it for all it is worth. Love it.

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Loving crave

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 24, 2013

I have cried my soul to the point of exhaustion, and now there’s nothing left for her. Anger, hurt and despair are what eroded to the surface of this delicate being.

I’ve encaptured myself in
silent darkness
in solitude, an ancient melody
greets my ears with
a delicate kiss
a sweet kiss…
a beautiful sound

* “Scents whirling in between us like rich ribbons
in the evening breeze”

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Existance of nothing

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 23, 2013

The natural arrangement of words for me to perceive and comprehend no longer exists. I close my eyes and there is a nothingness so frightening that not even i am bold enough to face it.
My current thoughts lack depth and it is in others that i search to fill this emptiness. Where has my inspiration vanished? Why has my soul given up on me..?
I feel as though i sometimes create situations in my mind that are not remnants of my realistic world. I feel things that are not present just so that i can guard myself against all evil doings. Now it’s getting the best of me. It’s thwarting my ability of fluency therefore affecting my relationship with others, soon enough, i will truly be all alone.
It affects me so dèeply that it can be sensed by those whom i allow to perceive. They do not understand. How can i make them understand a space of nothingness in my mind?.
My remedy is to remove myself from everything. That way, i’ll have the chance to unfold. But this occurence is never constant. What else should i do?. Let me think of something right now…emmm

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Existance of nothing

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 23, 2013

The natural arrangement of words for me to perceive and comprehend no longer exists. I close my eyes and there is a nothingness so frightening that not even i am bold enough to face it.
My current thoughts lack depth and it is in others that i search to fill this emptiness. Where has my inspiration vanished? Why has my soul given up on me..?
I feel as though i sometimes create situations in my mind that are not remnants of my realistic world. I feel things that are not present just so that i can guard myself against all evil doings. Now it’s getting the best of me. It’s thwarting my ability of fluency therefore affecting my relationship with others, soon enough, i will truly be all alone.
It affects me so dèeply that it can be sensed by those whom i allow to perceive. They do not understand. How can i make them understand a space of nothingness in my mind?.
My remedy is to remove myself from everything. That way, i’ll have the chance to unfold. But this occurence is never constant. What else should i do?. Let me think of something right now…emmm

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Existance of nothing

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 23, 2013

The natural arrangement of words for me to perceive and comprehend no longer exists. I close my eyes and there is a nothingness so frightening that not even i am bold enough to face it.
My current thoughts lack depth and it is in others that i search to fill this emptiness. Where has my inspiration vanished? Why has my soul given up on me..?
I feel as though i sometimes create situations in my mind that are not remnants of my realistic world. I feel things that are not present just so that i can guard myself against all evil doings. Now it’s getting the best of me. It’s thwarting my ability of fluency therefore affecting my relationship with others, soon enough, i will truly be all alone.
It affects me so dèeply that it can be sensed by those whom i allow to perceive. They do not understand. How can i make them understand a space of nothingness in my mind?.
My remedy is to remove myself from everything. That way, i’ll have the chance to unfold. But this occurence is never constant. What else should i do?. Let me think of something right now…emmm

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Living resilient

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 18, 2013

A dreamer’s vision
with a sentimental eye
destined to this torture
with a heartbeat unheard
a message denied
overlooked by fear
need to be alone
safe with your own wrath
a customed to your own charm
frowning with defeat
feeling power in their hand
turn away
lose yourself in this place
come out unloved
live without pain
feel no joy
no connection made
Rewind love
Learn live
individuality can lead to love
let go of their hold
look inside yourself
release the passion
feel what they feel
LOVE

~Chulalongkorn
10 am today

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Living resilient

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 18, 2013

A dreamer’s vision
with a sentimental eye
destined to this torture
with a heartbeat unheard
a message denied
overlooked by fear
need to be alone
safe with your own wrath
a customed to your own charm
frowning with defeat
feeling power in their hand
turn away
lose yourself in this place
come out unloved
live without pain
feel no joy
no connection made
Rewind love
Learn live
individuality can lead to love
let go of their hold
look inside yourself
release the passion
feel what they feel
LOVE

~Chulalongkorn
10 am today

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Living resilient

Posted by chulalongkorn on February 18, 2013

A dreamer’s vision
with a sentimental eye
destined to this torture
with a heartbeat unheard
a message denied
overlooked by fear
need to be alone
safe with your own wrath
a customed to your own charm
frowning with defeat
feeling power in their hand
turn away
lose yourself in this place
come out unloved
live without pain
feel no joy
no connection made
Rewind love
Learn live
individuality can lead to love
let go of their hold
look inside yourself
release the passion
feel what they feel
LOVE

~Chulalongkorn
10 am today

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Outburst II

Posted by chulalongkorn on January 12, 2012

I am now pleased to start a new beginning with a transformation of becoming 38 and i only have 2 more years to prepare myself with all the moderation of being perfect at my age of 40..inshaAllah!

I’m also being grateful to Allah swt for blessing me with such patience in commending a disrespectful wife i have..an arrogant wife whose actions are full of pointless attack with abusive language as she speak of envy..our love affair or relationship is quite compatible, able to be together harmoniously for the past 8 years. Although there were many things that we both cannot reach the agreement; with an intense outburst of feeling resulting of distrust with one another, causing suspicious feeling which could persuade ourselves in wrongly way most of the time..

At intervals of time, I used to think of new foundation or principle of basic policy in supporting our differences, to precisely give the right definition of marriage is gonna be my greatest challenging task this year as she wasn’t quite easily be persuaded or influenced by my sincere advise or request..

My aim is to educate her to become a person who can grasp the meaning of congeniality, human understanding. To become a person with philosophical skill who can really know and understand the basic of truths and principles of the universe, life and morals. Creative imaginations which could neglect defamation that damages a person’s reputation. An intense manner resulted to any reckless actions should all be completely abolish..It’s all from devil’s incitement!

My really hope would be my earnest desire to witness the changes in her ideology in irritable manners,..Amin

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Outburst

Posted by chulalongkorn on January 11, 2012

My life was heading to the right direction as i finally managed to cut forever..stopped all the madness. Living a healthy lifestyle with my beloved family. 10 months after we moved from Sri Penara to a peaceful living condition at my hometown here in Kok Lanas, Kelantan. My mind was finally able to lock up from the bad influences by some friends back at KL. Thanks to Allah swt for given me strengths to get out from there..

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