Chulalongkorn

Right Side of Me

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Outburst II

Posted by chulalongkorn on January 12, 2012

I am now pleased to start a new beginning with a transformation of becoming 38 and i only have 2 more years to prepare myself with all the moderation of being perfect at my age of 40..inshaAllah!

I’m also being grateful to Allah swt for blessing me with such patience in commending a disrespectful wife i have..an arrogant wife whose actions are full of pointless attack with abusive language as she speak of envy..our love affair or relationship is quite compatible, able to be together harmoniously for the past 8 years. Although there were many things that we both cannot reach the agreement; with an intense outburst of feeling resulting of distrust with one another, causing suspicious feeling which could persuade ourselves in wrongly way most of the time..

At intervals of time, I used to think of new foundation or principle of basic policy in supporting our differences, to precisely give the right definition of marriage is gonna be my greatest challenging task this year as she wasn’t quite easily be persuaded or influenced by my sincere advise or request..

My aim is to educate her to become a person who can grasp the meaning of congeniality, human understanding. To become a person with philosophical skill who can really know and understand the basic of truths and principles of the universe, life and morals. Creative imaginations which could neglect defamation that damages a person’s reputation. An intense manner resulted to any reckless actions should all be completely abolish..It’s all from devil’s incitement!

My really hope would be my earnest desire to witness the changes in her ideology in irritable manners,..Amin

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Outburst

Posted by chulalongkorn on January 11, 2012

My life was heading to the right direction as i finally managed to cut forever..stopped all the madness. Living a healthy lifestyle with my beloved family. 10 months after we moved from Sri Penara to a peaceful living condition at my hometown here in Kok Lanas, Kelantan. My mind was finally able to lock up from the bad influences by some friends back at KL. Thanks to Allah swt for given me strengths to get out from there..

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Spent time thinking of..

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 16, 2010

i have spent a lot of this week thinking about me and Mamanoni. and i have come to the complete conclusion in my mind that yes, in fact i am definitely in love with her. i don’t say that i love a woman unless they have proven that they love me and care for me for more than anything.

Sometimes i feel as if my world is falling in on me and i surely can’t breath and i can’t see as well. There are times when i forget that i am the one who causes all the problems and i forget that i am trying to be a different, happier person, the person that i know i am. But when the pain comes and all of the sudden, i remember that my life was not easy. My life was something that i would much rather start over and not to do the same mistake again, but i feel that there is too much here i need and mostly it concerns Mamanoni.

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Our differences

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 9, 2010

Before that, I didn’t mean to hurt her feeling by writing this pieces of mind, Me and Mamanoni have quite a lot of different thinking for many things in life. She just can’t stand that I don’t think the way she does. Well, I’m not a close-minded, mean, self-centred person like her. She is so hateful and there was time she was acting like some sort of mean-spirited had been adhered in her, and it’s ridiculous. I can’t stand it sometimes and that makes me sad. She just passes judgement on shit she knows nothing about and it’s make me angry beyond belief!!..sigh.

I promised to myself that I will actively try and be a better person by paying more attention to my behaviour and my reactions and my actions as well. But now, I’m feeling tired and maybe try to get a few more hours of sleep, I don’t know.,usually my skin turns dry when I don’t get enough rest, and I barely slept for 4 hours last night. Better get going now…Au revoir

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My Infatuation

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 9, 2010

I haven’t been designing much lately..still. I just haven’t felt up to it. At the meantime, I’m also considering the idea of starting my own business in the future. I’d really love to design and own my art gallery where I can stuff my artwork for all art-lovers out there. They can surely purchase the art at very reasonable price of course. That’d be awesome enough for me.

Other than that, still feeling a little nauseous throughout the day the past few days and with a little tooth aches, but nothing like the other day..

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Just look at this Gorgeous Beauty..

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 8, 2010

uhh..

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Maria Sharapova

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 8, 2010

Full name : Maria Yuryevna Sharaphova (Мари́я Ю́рьевна Шара́пова​).

Birthday : April 19, 1987

Beauty at e beach

She’s one of the most recognized Russian Tennis Player. She has been blessed with magnificent features. Her face is the epitome of classical beauty with long straight blond hair and even longer legs than most of the woman in her age. This 6′2″ stunner definitely doesn’t leave many empty seats in the stands wherever she’s in action. I bet you will be stunned by her beauty and talent!.i just loved tennis and to be honest i wouldn’t mind watching her play 4 hours non stop. I also like her outfit on court..how sexy they are especially during serving the first ball.

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Wish i could explain..

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 8, 2010

i am going through a time in my life when i can’t decide if i am good enough for anything in life, i mean i stopped working on everything that i was once good at doing it, i still can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. i am in a good relationship with my family and friends as well and i love them very much it just that i really need to ‘be with myself’ more often. but sometimes i try to figure out why am i such a loser when it comes to my dreams….i have lived up to everyone’s expectations but not my own, and this i don’t know why. i need to spread my wings and fly high.

i could wish for something other than the saddness in my heart and just be greatful with what i have in life now. i need to prove that i am strong and noble, to be honest, my life was something that i would much rather start all over again and i will certainly not be doing the same mistake again…

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Apart from…

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 5, 2010

Hopefully I can convince myself to get back to my new book. I’m hoping that I can figures things out before life pulls us apart again. There’s seriously something about her that keeps bringing us together again, time after time. Eventhough she’s an orthodox, at least she’s an Angel send by The Almighty to be my life companion.
I enjoy staying connected with people via facebook from back at home, or family I haven’t spoken to in awhile..

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Cast No Shadow

Posted by chulalongkorn on March 4, 2010

I’m trying to be a better person, a better man, less of an enemy to myself. It’s hard to change. I’m not sure if I can…but the most important is I know how much I want to…

I haven’t much energy to write. I just want to pore out some of my feelings, my frustration, maybe even find some joys in there to gush about. But I just feel dead tired. I need a reason to wake up, to feel alive. I want to write her a letter; explain how I’ve been feeling lately. A lot of emotions. Emotions scare me. Happiness scares me. More than anything, love scares me. My love towards Mamanoni is priceless, money can’t buy this love for sure..

I let myself worry too much lately. When good things come along, I should learn to simply embrace it instead of worrying until my worry pushes it away. The worry itself brings my fears to reality. Its self defeating i guess. Why is it so damn hard to change anyway?

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