Right Side of Me

Archive for December, 2009


Posted by chulalongkorn on December 31, 2009

That i have forgotten why i have been worrying. Money is a big worry for me, how am i going to survive this next month on short of money? Think i should be more careful when it comes to spending money for unnecessary things. Problem is, i just don’t know how to say ‘No‘ to a freind’s request..know wot i mean?? The other worry is my weight but i have been working very hard on that issue of mine. i will never be skinny like i was but damn it needs pretty much effort to put into.

Sometimes i wonder where i would be if i just let it all go? If i had just delt with all my crap. But then i am sure i wouldn’t be the person that i am, would i?..probably not. i can’t help but wonder what i would have turned out to be if i hadn’t been such a fucking good guy…but then some of us are good at staying safe.
The question remains ‘Where would you be if your life had turned out differently?’ i cried a lot inside when thinking about the recent strugle i had faced in my life and i still wonder how i mangaed to survive…but then if Allah didn’t want me to i wouldn’t have…

I miss you, every time i ran by your house..i hate you, for leaving me…..i love you , i should have told you then..You left, that made me sad you were one of my best friends. You came back, and scared me half to death. By accident, we started right were we left off. It’s been too long….yet not long enough. Wait…did we do something wrong?!! By never becoming a couple before all the hurt? Do you love me really?Will you break my heart?..No, Yes, Maybe..ahh. Stay forever always. This promise i can keep. Always, you will be mine, stay with me forever in time. In our own world as promised. 

Look what you’ve done to me. You made me love you. i hate you, when you anger me. i love you, all the time. Go, Leave, Now! No! Don’t! Stay… Comeback here. i want you to stay with me. Yes, No, Maybe…..The joys of love is always the ever present need of wanting.


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United celebrate New Year trashing Wigan

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 31, 2009

Wayne Rooney delivered another masterclass as Wigan meekly surrendered to Manchester United for the second time this season in a 5-0 defeat at Old Trafford. Wayne was absolutely fantastic again, just like Sunday..He has been showing great maturity for the whole season.

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Letting Go (Part 2)

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 30, 2009

I wish I could just let go, like others can. They get rejected, and they move on. But me? I’m not like that. When I fall in love, I fall in love forever. I have never been able to just let go of the people I care deeply about, no matter how badly they’ve treated me. It’s just not in my nature. It’s just not me. But..when times passing by, years after years I tried to do so…

I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m a pretty decent person. A damn decent person. I’m a bit funny and fun and nice and sweet and flirty and playful and compassionate and loving and just a lot of good things. Yeah, I am my issues. Everyone has issues. Mine may just be heavier than some, more intense. I mean, I’m a pretty intense person as well. I feel things really intensely and deeply and completely and thoroughly. But that doesn’t mean I’m unlovable or that there’s something wrong with me that makes me “not good enough”. I am good enough. I’m more than good enough. I am me, and I think that’s enough.

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When everything you wanted you had.!!

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 21, 2009

When you caught the world you wanted…and lost it
When everything you wanted you had…but then didn’t
When you suddenly realized your dreams coming true…you woke up
When everything that seemed so right…became so wrong

You woke up that morning and felt the sunshine on your face
You lived through the afternoon with skies of blue and grass in green
You were flying high, had the world on a string, your coffee never tasted more better
Then came the night, and like a bandit it took everything you had

You had lived your life dreaming of that day
Your thoughts, efforts, and emotions were invested into this goal
When it came it made everything right, the worries washed away, and the frown turned upside down
It took everything bad and made it good, it wiped away the memories and brought fresh air to your lungs

In that moment you lost it and everything crashed
Your happy ending got up and left, your big dreams became broken realities
You were left to wonder what would become of this existence
You had experienced the unimaginable to the point where it became reality
And now you were left to forsake it all and forget it actually happened                         Broken dreams!!…broken people!!…broken life!!

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Brain Storming session…..

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 17, 2009

I just wanted to say thank you to my Boss, En Razak for getting me in the mind-set when he brought me back into reality and made me realize that I really couldn’t build my life around here alone, and in the process shut everyone else out.  I finally made up my mind to actually say everything out loud yesterday and I’m sure everybody can figure out what was happened or you guys probably won’t understand the situation. We were both more honest with each other than we have been, probably because things just got too complicated most recently since my staff (Firdaus) had been transfered to Account Dept…

Maybe this is just a completely off misinterpretation, but I felt like he was trying to balance who he was with me and how I should be an example to others and honestly I can’t blame him for not getting the true story. He also mentioned that someone maybe trying to place sand into my ricecooker..(is that the right phrase??..) and that’s okay because I know that in the last month or so I was trying so hard to achieve my collection monthly target. And I was doing it ALONE!!!!

He really helped a lot and I’m just so glad that he made me open my eyes because otherwise I would have lost myself in trying to be someone that I really wasn’t ever going to be at this time around…thanks again for understanding problems/difficulties that I had to face….

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Budget 2010

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 11, 2009

Today, I’ll be focusing on doing CCD Budget 2010. Not many changes as last year as far as my management were concerned.

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Fire and Ice

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 10, 2009

Things will happen because they are planned that way and they happen for a reason. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”..I want to try to focus on good things and positive things. Someone got me thinking about the karma that is around us, and if I have good karma and a positive energy around me, then life should somehow be better.

The last couple of days were quite busy. Work and more work has occupied most of my thoughts. The mental anguish isn’t as bad now. Things are getting clearer now. At least from my perspective. I’m feeling better about everything in general.

The day’s not getting any longer. I need to go and take care of things.

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Marilah bersama

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 4, 2009

Program unik ini direka khusus untuk mereka yang berniat ikhlas dan jujur untuk saling bantu-membantu sesama insan. Ianya sebuah program yang dikendalikan secara profesional, sah disisi undang-undang dan tidak melanggar syariat Islam.
Terbukti berkesan , mudah , praktikal , pantas , logik , tiada risiko dan boleh membantu beban kewangan anda.

Sebenarnya program seumpama ini direka khas bagi membolehkan orang menghantar wang kepada anda. Dengan menyertai program ini, bermakna anda telah melakukan usaha yang menyebabkan anda menerima sumbangan oleh peserta-peserta baru yang mendaftar dibawah rangkaian anda. Mereka memberi sumbangan kepada anda untuk membolehkan mereka menyertai program ini sepertimana yang telah anda lakukan. Ianya ternyata lebih selamat , meyakinkan , telus dan BERKESAN berbanding kaedah lain. Ianya telah terbukti BERJAYA kerana setiap penyertaan peserta baru perlu menggunakan wang pos yang tertulis nama anda ( seperti dlm i/c ) dan No Kad Pengenalan anda. Jadi sesiapa pun TIDAK BOLEH menebus wang pos tersebut kecuali anda sebagai penerima yang sah. Penyelewengan TIDAK MUNGKIN berlaku di mana usaha anda pasti menghasilkan manfaat yang optima.

Bagaimana program ini dapat menghasilkan wang?

1) Perak – RM 50.
i. Beli wang pos bernilai RM5 sebanyak 8 keping,satu sampul Pos Ekspres kecil (220mm x 110mm) dan satu sampul Pos Ekspres sederhana (229mm x 162mm) di Pejabat Pos.

ii. Pada ruangan BAYAR KEPADA wang pos,tuliskan nama peserta 1,2,3,4,5,6 dan 7.Tuliskan juga no. k/p penerima pada ruangan yang disediakan.KOSONGKAN ruang tandatangan.Manakala wang pos ke-8,tuliskan atas nama KRISTAL KARISMA ENTERPRISE untuk kos pengurusan.

iii. Pada sampul Pos Ekpres yang kecil,tuliskan nama dan alamat ANDA sebagai penerima. KOSONGKAN nama dan alamat pengirim.

iv. Pada sampul Pos Ekpres yang sederhana,tuliskan nama dan alamat syarikat :KRISTAL KARISMA ENTERPRISE,P.O.BOX 12248,50772 KUALA LUMPUR sebagai penerima dan anda sebagai pengirim.

v. Lengkapkan maklumat anda dalam borang pendaftaran. Masukkan kesemua wang pos dan borang permohonan ke dalam sampul Pos Ekspres yang kecil (JANGAN TUTUP SAMPUL INI).

vi. Masukkan sampul Pos Ekspres kecil (berisi wang pos & borang) ke dalam sampul Pos Ekspres sederhana dan gamkan.Pos dalam peti POS EKSPRES (kuning).

vii. Tunggu beberapa hari.Anda akan menerima borang dan risalah program untuk diikuti dan membolehkan anda mendapat banyak wang..

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Thinking of….

Posted by chulalongkorn on December 4, 2009

Life has been keeping me away from here. Gone are the days where I spend hours upon hours wasting my time playing Zynga Games in e facebook. Life is way too busy, and way too precious to waste time in cyberspace. But I just did that for the past 4 weeks. Huh..!! 

Life has been through a major adjustment. I’m pretty much the father figure in the kids lives now. They see me every day and I help out Mamanoni with homework, cooking, washing and other stuff like that. Well I found my life partner, my best friend, my lover and the most amazing woman I have ever met.  Mamanoni, I love you with all my heart and soul.  You are my life and without you, I would not be the man I am today.

There isn’t much more to say.  Just know that I am well, very happy and content and I’ve found love and inner peace.  I’m still a work in progress, as is my life, but it’s progressing along a very wonderful path. With Mamanoni holding my hands as we walk along this road of life, things will be amazing. InshaAllah…

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